Effects Video Games Young Children

how’s this for an introductory paragraph?

Have Video Games become too violent for the young video game audience? Should these explicit games be allowed for purchase at all? What are these games teaching our children? Some think that the bloody and gory effects in video games add amusement and excitement to the game. Bloody games aren’t influential to younger people, or are they? Parents should not purchase violent, inappropriate video games for their children because of the detailed gory graphics exhibited and the horrible messages they engrave in children’s minds.

the essay is called: Bloody Games: Staining the Minds of Children
okay i changed the sentence.

They think that these games aren’t affecting their children, or are they?

I think there are too many questions. I would reword them as statements and keep your first question as the only one. Rework the rest into statements that fall behind that first one as a focus. In your body you can use the questions again as you make your points. I think the last sentence is a powerful conclusion, but you can state it in your introduction as well. What you have is strength in your resolve about the issue, now rework those questions so that your essay has punch. Good luck. I wish I could see your final draft.